Lavender
by ValkyrieMetherlance
Summary: I don't understand what I do to make you reject me so. BELARUS x RUSSIA, not a pairing fic, sorta OOC


**A/N: Okay… I'm hereby going crazy. Writing two fanfics within a week… ._. Yeah. I'm crazy. So um… This time, I'll be presenting you all a Belarus x Russia fanfic… I don't actually ship them, but I know how Belarus is obsessed with Russia and all, so I'm making a connection here and explaining some of her thoughts (In my perspective at least..) about Russia, and if you know the meaning of Lavenders, which is the name of this fanfic, you should be able to see the connection. If you don't, well I'll be mentioning it in this fanfic… I hope you enjoy~**

**I DO NOT OWN HETALIA OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. All copyright goes to Hidekaz Himaruya-sama~ =w=**

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BELARUS'S POV

_"I don't understand why you act this way towards me… I try my hardest to get along with you, and try to get closer to you, attempting to at least get you to look at me in the eye. Yet, whenever I am within the area, the only thing you do is run away from me, as if the world will end if you are near me._"

"Ah, Chuugoku-kun! It's been a while, da?" A voice says. I turn around, seeing my dear brother talking to that girly looking Asian country. I narrow my eyes, and watch them interact.

_"Why? You seem perfectly fine with others around you. What is it about me that makes me different from the rest of them? I see how they treat you… I would never be scared of you Brother… "_

I see the Asian country yell at him, and inch further away from brother, his face looking unnaturally pale. I am tempted to go up to him and scream at him for doing such a thing, but I don't move, scared that if I do, Brother will leave again…

_"They act as if you are a monster that will only drain their lives away if you are near them. Do you not see how I act towards you? I love you so much… The only thing I want to do is stay by your side forever, and never stray away. So why? Why do you choose them over me? I would never ignore you or push you away like them. What is it about them that is so interesting?"_

"Ufu~ Become one with me, da?" I hear my brother say. I frown and turn away from them, walking out the door.  
"Belarus? Where are you going?" I hear Sestra say. I ignore her, and continue walking down the hall back to the hotel.

_"It makes no sense at all… Is the only reason why you are with them just that? To rule the world? Then why have you not let me become one with you? I love you… and would gladly become one with you if you asked…"_

I walk through the streets, back to the hotel, and notice it raining. I pay no attention to it, and continue walking, lost in my thoughts.

_"Is it my fault you are acting this way? What have I done to make you reject me so? I don't understand what you dislike about me so much… Is it my way of showing affection? Should I stop 'stalking' you? I really do love you… why can't you understand that?"_

I open the door to my hotel room, and instantly flop onto the bed on my back, covering my eyes with my forearm.

_"My only wish is for you to accept me and my feelings for you… That's all. If I could wake up one day and have you act naturally to me, and show that you don't treat me any different from the others, I would gladly die. Just to be able to have those lavender eyes look back at me…"_

I laugh bitterly as I think that. It'd be a miracle if that happens… For Brother to actually treat me the same way he treats the others… For him to actually accept me and my feelings…

_"A miracle it would be… And yet, I can't help but believe that miracles do happen. If they do, would this one come true?"_

I roll over to my side, and slowly close my eyes, falling asleep. Before my mind goes blank and I fall into darkness, I feel a teardrop roll down my cheek.

_"If that miracle would happen someday… Then… Until that day comes, I'll continue being like this. I'll continue supporting you from the dark, and watch over you, making sure no one defies you. I'll continue to love you, when all the others turn their backs on you. I'll stay by your side forever, even if I'm not the one you love."_

I smile, and my mind succumbs to the darkness, letting go of all these thoughts I have, and calming me.

_"This is how strong my devotion to you is after all… I've been doing this since forever, and will continue doing this. My devotion to you is eternity after all, like the lavender. I love you brother. From now till the end."_

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**A/N: So… Um… I made this fanfic REALLY unclear… Heck… I doubt many people actually understood most of it… Okay so. For the people who didn't get the connection to the title, in the Language of Flowers, a lavender means either "Devotion" or "Mistrust" in which both ways are mentioned here. Devotion in Belarus's POV, and mistrust in Russia's POV though I didn't show it much. This was not a pairing fic, for those who were looking for one. Like I mentioned in the beginning, this was in my perspective on how Belarus thinks about Russia's actions. I understand if you don't agree on it, but nonetheless, thank you for reading! Valkyrie Metherlance, signing out~! ^^**


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